Ellen - You are a Saint. And you are not alone. I have stories to tell from the last 50 years. Rest assured, your challenges will ultimately work out. I am semi-retired, my wife passed away 4 years ago, my daughter and her 5 kids live with me, one of which is a pediatric kidney transplant patient and two of them are under four. My quiet house is chaotic and impossible to clean. The granddaughter my wife and I raised from birth just turned 19 and moved out. I've declared 'Virtual Independence' and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am no where living the life I envisioned as a retiree. But I don't mind and am glad to help my daughter and keep in touch with the grandkids. Hang in there.