Member-only story
Tis the Season for Presents to Get Wrapped: But No One Ever Taught Me How
It is the most frustrating task in the world
I have a hell of a time wrapping gifts. Nobody ever taught me.
Growing up, gift wrapping was relegated to the women of the family. I remember one day, my Mother, Grandmother, and Aunt took my sister under their wings and passed over the golden skill of gift wrapping. It was a very ceremonious occasion—the official passing of the Golden Scissors from one generation to the next.
My brother and I scoffed at the event and went outside to help our Father clean the boat and gut fish.
Those days are gone now, and gift wrapping has fallen into my lap for a variety of reasons.
The problem is no one ever taught me how to wrap correctly.
In high school, there was no gift wrapping curriculum for boys. My buddies and I were too busy learning how to weld, rebuild engines and carve wood. Our coaches never pulled us aside from a football game to teach us the finer points of tying ribbon bows correctly.
Once I got married, every present I gave my wife was either wrapped at the store, a charitable booth at the mall, or stuffed into a garbage bag with a sticky bow on it.
