You are living with what I call the last person standing syndrome. It's hard to acknowledge. Death takes my breath away. Hang in there. But the reality is it is not going to stop. All we can do is enjoy and appreciate the people in our lives today, because things can change quickly. Go watch the movie On The Beach, the book is better and it's a b movie, but the premise is scary with hints of truth. My spoiler is it's about nuclear annihilation.